Thursday, May 22, 2014

Hypocrisy and Physical Fitness

I have always prided myself on my parenting, but recently realized that I am not quite as good as I thought I was. See, kids learn more by what you do than what you say. I have been a total hypocrite in one area of my life with them. I have told them over and over again how important it is to have balance in their lives. Yes, academics are important, but so are friends. Yes, you can enjoy life, but you must work hard too. Yes you are kids, but you are learning to be adults. I think that I have done okay with those things, but there is one area that I have really literally fallen down on the job.

What area is that you ask? I can feel you preparing to defend me by saying, “Now Sheri, you can’t be that bad, calling yourself a hypocrite is a little harsh, don’t you think?” My answer to you on that particular question is no. I am not being too harsh. The area that I am talking about is physical fitness. If you don’t take care of your body everything else suffers. You can develop everything from obesity to depression, heart disease to general malaise and everything in between. Studies about physical activity have been linked to better sleep, better thinking, better moods, better appetites and better sex.

I have always thought the life of the mind is very important. Reading books, figuring out problems, asking questions, exploring different ways of being. I am happiest in the classroom, particularly a classroom set up using a Socratic method of teaching. Questions being answered, open discussion. I love it. Equally important however, is the life of the body. If you take care of your body you are rewarded with a clear mind that is well rested and prepared to take on the tasks you and others present it with.

Being remiss in my duties to take care of my body is tantamount to being completely unbalanced in my life. I see the results of not taking care of myself and so do my kids. There is a history in my family of obesity, diabetes, depression, heart disease and high blood pressure. So far the only issues I have had to deal with is depression and obesity (as if that’s not bad enough).
I have tried to motivate myself to address the problem and so far have failed miserably. I have tried jogging, swimming, walking, calisthenics, yoga and some hiking. It’s incredible to me that at one time in my life I was an aerobics instructor. True it was many, many years ago, but still. I was in good shape at one time in my life. And I wish I could blame my current lack of physical fitness on having babies but I cannot. I was out of shape before I had them and lost all the baby weight I gained during pregnancy within six months. I credit breastfeeding my children with that as there was nothing else significantly different in my life at the time.

I tell my children all the time that it is easier to stay in shape than it is to get into shape. This is what I say to them when they want to quit karate or some other sport that they are involved with. I want them to stay physically fit and not have the uphill battle I have. I have used the current state of my body as an object lesson for them on numerous occasions.

As my children grow they have begun to ask me why I am not doing the physical things that they are. I don’t really have a good reason to give them. I could tell them that it is just so gosh darned hard to keep going when one has the weight on that I do, but so what? Shouldn’t I power through the tough part to get into shape? Of course I should. My kids’ karate instructor tells them all the time that it’s supposed to hurt. If it doesn’t hurt a little then you aren’t doing anything meaningful to improve your body. I agree with him. I’m just not so good at applying the knowledge. Why is that? I suppose “pain compliance” is one answer. I don’t like pain, plain and simple. Trying to get into shape from the condition I am in hurts…and I don’t want to hurt…therefore, I avoid it.

I’m soft. Too soft. For a while I was doing karate with my daughter’s class. I had an incident where I got dizzy and almost passed out. I haven’t been back since. She keeps asking me when I will be back to class. I have taken to telling her when I lose 20 lbs. I want to take off some weight first before trying the karate class again. I do too. I want to take off a bit of weight before I go back. I think that I am not prepared for some of the workouts that we do in class and it’s embarrassing to not be able to keep up.

But worse than being embarrassed is watching my daughter lose her confidence in herself. I feel that my example is a strong lesson in giving up and that is definitely NOT a lesson I want my daughter to learn. When the going gets tough you give up? I don’t think so. She has been talking lately about how she doesn’t really like class and she isn’t really that good anyway. I think that it is a direct result of my example. Sure, there are other factors, but my example of giving up has green-lighted her to give up as well.

I don’t want that for her or any of my children. So how can I walk the walk and not just talk the talk? How can I overcome my desire to avoid pain, my embarrassment and the number of other things that get in my way when it comes to being physically fit? I wish I could say that I was going to, as the Nike commercials say “Just Do It.” That is not realistic for me. I think I will have to take it at the one-class-at-a-time approach. Maybe I can “Just Do It” one time and build on that. You know, like they always say in sports interviews, “I’m going to take this one workout class at a time, I’m not going to look forward. I am just going to focus on this one work out.” Maybe then I can give my kids an example I will be proud of.


babbleMom said...

You asked for here goes it. Being a parent is hard. Being a human is hard. Exercising is hard. Or maybe its not...maybe we just keep telling ourselves that it is and we believe it. Seriously...take a step back and look at all the amazing stuff people are able to accomplish...look at everything that people are able to endure. GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND START MOVING YOUR FEET! When I run I have a constant monologue with myself...I try to crank it up and it never gets drowned out..."I'm too slow, my ass is that a cramp, is my blood sugar ok, my leg hurts, phew...that must have been further than I ran yesterday, why am I doing this, will I ever get better? I'm never going to get better. OMG, I hate running, Oh look I just ran, I actually feel pretty good, look at me world I AM RUNNING!" Rinse repeat...I am my worst enemy and some days my biggest champion. Step back. My Dad was in a motorcycle accident when he was 19 years ago...he broke his paralyzed from the knees down...the doctors told him that he would never walk again. He had a short list of goals when he left the hospital, they were simple. A few years later he met my Mom and one of his life goals was to walk down the aisle on his wedding day. Sometimes you have to reach inside your head, take that internal voice by the scruff of the neck and show them what a human is capable. I know its SO cliché...Just Do It...but seriously...I has to be THAT simple. Get out of your head...and Just Do It. HUGS.

STurnerhealth said...

babbleMom you are right. I DO need to just get out of my own head. I will try. Thank you for the input. On a side note I am dying to know if your dad was able to walk down the aisle. That would be amazing!

babbleMom said...

He uses a cane and has braces in his shoes but ... he walked her down the aisle...danced with her at the wedding...had 3 kids, coached my softball games, danced with me at my wedding...he is now 71 years old. Every day of the last 52 years he has been in pain and it frustrates him in a way I'll never be able to understand, but he gets out of bed and just does "it". Nope he's not climbing mountains or running marathons but as a parent he is setting an amazing example for me. I'm 41 and every time I want to throw myself a pity party, for what ever reason, I might blow up a balloon or two, blow on a noise maker and than put it all into perspective. Dig deep and try my best to be the most awesome me I can be. Life is all about making choices. You can do it!