I haven't written in here in ten years. Unbelievable to me. It's time to start writing again. Recently I began writing for my church newsletter, "Steeplesounds." My thoughts are on the subject of what it means to be kind. I suppose this is the subject of my thinking in part because I'm worried about the direction our country is going. If you're reading this and don't already know, I live in the United States of America. If you don't live under a rock I guess you must know American (North American to be precise) politics right now is awful. Politics has always been a morally foggy endeavor from what I've seen in the past, but now politicians don't even try to hide how immoral they are anymore. Politicians can be racist, greedy, dishonest, disrespectful, crude, rude, and generally socially unacceptable. They act in ways most people discourage their children from acting like. The other issue I have is that not only are politicians of late devoid of morality and not hiding it any more, but the American public appears to be okay with that. Many people refuse to acknowledge their favorite politician's flaws even when presented with cold hard facts demonstrating how morally bankrupt they are. The United States of America has been a "shining city on a hill" for many years, some would have called it a beacon of hope. Many have come here from afar in pursuit of a better life, but things are changing. I'm not fully convinced anymore that one can obtain a "better life" in the United States of America simply by living here and working hard. For the first time in United States' history, our children's generation is the first generation that will NOT have a better standard of living than their parents did. Housing prices, whether rented or purchased, are outrageous (my daughter's rent cost more than my mortgage!). No longer does even a dual income guarantee home ownership. The cost of a college education, once the standard pursuit of your average high school graduate to secure a meaningful career and income, has become prohibitively expensive. Even if you do secure a degree that can lead to the sought-after career, you will need to spend exhorbitant amounts of money to get transportation to bring you to said career. Assuming you are able to obtain transportation to your job, you will be going to that job for a long time to pay off your student loans and potentially a car loan. Many young people find that they need several roommates to afford a place to live. Don't even start talking about the price of food these days. I went to buy a carton of eggs recently and the store wanted $7.00! If you suggest that the political machine in this country be used to alleviate some of the burden on its citizens, many will call you a socialist, which is considered derogatory by many. Having the crazy idea in your head that the taxes collected from the citizenry of this nation be used to fund more than the American war machine and the propoganda that we are rescuing the oppressed and not trying to hoarde resources like oil is unfathomable. Corporations are now viewed legally as though they are individuals with rights (Citizens United anyone?). Somehow, though they are afforded the status of being legally recognized as people, the biggest corporations manage to avoid being taxed as individuals. They reap all of the benefits of their status as individuals and have none of the responsibilities. How are our children supposed to thrive in this environment? It seems that corporations have more rights than our children do. When our children go to work for these corporations upon graduating from the colleges and universities that are presumably preparing them with degrees, they are being trained to work in ethical and moral environments that only exist on paper, in theory. If you doubt the veracity of what I am saying you need only turn on the news to get a glimpse of what I am referring to. When you see our country picking sides in an unwinnable war between Palestinians amd Israelis, one can only shake one's head in sadness and acknowledge that there are no good guys in this war (or really ANY war). Bombing hospitals, taking civilians hostage and killing them shows that no one has the moral high ground here.

    So how do our children learn to successfully function in this environment? Do they just chuck out all the morals and ethics you worked diligently during their formative years to teach them? Is that the only way? Or is there another way?

    I would argue that indeed there is another way. When we see the kinds of behaviors we have been seeing from our politicians, our wealthy, our celebrities, that we are observing, THAT is the time to reinforce a different way of doing things. Our children need to see that not only do we value a different way, but we LIVE a different way. Maybe we don't have the best material stuff, but maybe that is not what we value. If we don't value material things, not having them is no big loss. 

    Now there is nothing wrong with liking nice things. I like nice things. Would I like a few nice things? Sure. But am I willing to sacrifice my values for them? No. What I value more than nice things are nice people. People who will go the extra mile to be kind when someone needs it, someone who will put their needs aside to help another. 

        The problem I have now is that politicians, the wealthy and celebrities often like to portay themselves as underdogs who clawed their way to the top without anyone's help. If they can do it, they say, anyone can if they are willing to work for it.  It's usually baloney.  The reality is that no one is an island Getting to "the top," however you define it, usually requires the assistance of another. Someone that has gone before you and can guide you in some way. For some, that means loving and supportive parents. Other people benefitted from a coach, a mentor, a minister, or a friend. Still others have siblings, a teacher, or an instructor who helped them along the way. 

    There is nothing wrong with needing a little help. Whether it's "a small loan of a million dollars," a shoulder to cry on at the right time, a place to stay while you get on your feet, a meal, help with writing a paper that's due or advice about a complicated situation, all of us need a hand at times. 

    So whenever the currently favored famous person presents themselves as better and stronger than your average person, I cry bullshit. When someone claims to have got "there" on their own, I am very skeptical. Look at the current situation with immigrants crossing the borders to get in to the United States.  Whether you feel stronger control is needed at the border or not largely depends on your ability and willingness to have compassion and empathy (Yes, I'm going there. This is my blog so if you don't like it feel free to express yourself in the comments and/or leave). Have you never feared for the lives of those you love? For yourself? Haven't you ever wanted a better life? Haven't you ever felt you needed to cut through the red tape to address your concerns? Have you ever felt desperate? That you would do anything to escape dire circumstances? If you have never felt any of these things, consider yourself very lucky.  If you do indeed feel empathy and compassion for your fellow man in such circumstances, feel free to visit places like borderaidsandiego.org to see what you can do to help.

    Needing help is not "weak" or "lazy." It's built into the human condition. We are beings that require community to survive. The anthropologist Margaret Meade is often credited with saying that the first signs of a civil society she knows of is a healed broken femur. There is debate about whether or not she actually said that, but the point that the observation makes is clear: In order to heal from an injury, we need community. We are designed to look out for one another. A broken bone, such as a femur would put a person at a distinct disadvantage as one would be unable to walk, run or evade predators. Gathering sustenance even if said sustenance was of vegetation, would be near impossible. The only way a person could survive would be with protection and assistance.

So are you going to live in this world in a civilized way where you are part of a community or is it every man for themselves?