So here I am...at 2:51am...awake. This probably means that when my daughter gets up to get ready for school, I will be exhausted, but, such is my life. I tried the whole deep breathing thing and trying to not think about needing to sleep, but no go. So I have given in and decided that I am up for the nonce. If you're up late too I feel your pain. Particularly if you are going to need to be up and alert soon.

By nature I am a night owl, so being awake right now doesn't really feel too bad. But I will pay for it later. I will try to make sure no one else pays, but to be honest, they probably will. Because, remember, I'm a narcissist. It IS all about me. I'd like to say I was different, that I would be the archetypical mother figure arising early and making life oh-so-much sweeter for those around her by her early rising, but I'm not a liar. I'll probably be grouchy. I'll try not to be too grouchy. But I probably will be grouchy. I hate being awake in the morning. 95% of the world seems to think its important to do so, so I guess I have to jump on the conformity wagon like it or not, but if asked, I will tell you that I hate being awake in the morning. The early bird gets the worm? Well, I have no interest in worms. I'll let my cat out to get the early bird so it will shut up and I can get some more sleep.

I have so much to do. I wish I could do it at night without disturbing anyone. I'm more productive then anyway. But I would keep people awake. Little people that would make it hard for me to accomplish what I was staying up to accomplish. Bless their hearts but they find new and interesting ways to be underfoot. But enough whining.

What do I have to do you ask? I have Christmas decorations to take out and place. I have decided to set up the Christmas Village scene that was given to me by my son's ex-preschool teacher. It's going to be set up on the porch. I hope that will be alright since we have no porch door at the moment. Why is that? You may wonder. Well, I don't know for sure, but I have seen my five year old riding the door on a couple of occassions like a pony. He grabs the doorlatch and hangs from it and swings. I didn't specifically see him break it, so I can't blame him directly. I'm willing to bet that he did that on more than one occassion though and I am positive that the door manufacturers did not have that particular use in mind when they produced this particular screen door. So the door fell off right before Halloween and we haven't replaced it yet. Hopefully the weather won't be so wild that I can't place the decorations out though.

It snowed today. My kids went out to play in it. I was asleep and missed it. I did get to see my daughter and son catching snowflakes on their tongues. I wanted to capture the moment on film, but they stopped doing it while I was getting the camera. Grrrr...just the way it always goes.

What else do I have to do? Well...let's see. I should probably go grocery shopping. We currently have very little to eat for breakfast. That probably means I will stay up after blogging and make pancake batter so my daughter can have breakfast. I also need to put away laundry. Yeah, I know, exciting, but remember, I live a very unfunky life. I also would like to make fudge for the neighbors. Yeah. Fudge. It's kind of my thing around Christmas. I like to experiment with making different kinds of fudge. Then I give the results to the neighbors. They think I am being neighborly, when truth be told I am avoiding putting on about 600 pounds of pure chocolate. Sure, I want them to enjoy the fudge...but more importantly, I do NOT want ME to enjoy the fudge. I just like to make it. If it also creates a better neighborhood, so much the better.

I also have to wrap Christmas presents. I don't want things to go like they usually go with gift wrapping. Hubby and I usually wait until Christmas Eve and then wrap all of the gifts. We are usually up until about 3 am Christmas Eve. Not such a good way to do things, but it is very hard to find time alone to wrap gifts. The kids are usually around trying to see what I am up to. I have managed to buy gifts online this year and many are hidden around the house. Even hubby's. But I can't seem to find a good time to wrap them.

I also need to set up the office upstairs. We just got a second computer. We got it because I am going to telecommute for work. I need there to be a quiet place to do that where background noise is eliminated. Setting up the office is going to be a job. I have to get all the stuff that is currently in there out, some of which is my daughters (grrr...more on her some other time) and some of which is stuff we want in there. But I gotta figure out how to set upstairs up so I can work. Plus I am hoping it will be a space where I can write and the kids will not be able to mess around with the computer. They have one set up in the dining room that they can use. This one will be for adults only. Period.

I need to put the boxes of Halloween decorations up in the loft. Yeah, I know, Halloween was about a month and a half ago. Blah blah blah. Don't whine at me about how I should have already taken care of it. I know. But as soon as I start to bring stuff up to the loft, Christopher, my five year old, bless his heart, wants to help and I do NOT want him up there. Christmas central is up there (maybe he knows that...and that is why this five year old wants to help you say? Not likely. He's a sweet kid. He just wants to help). So the Halloween stuff is on my porch. In a box. Ready to go.

Another thing I need to do? I need to buy curtains. They'd probably cut down on our heating costs. But they cost money. I'm trying to avoid spending money right now. Except on Christmas. I want my kids to enjoy their Christmas. But it occurs to me that maybe they would enjoy their Christmas even more if we weren't stressed out about money...maybe I should just put up the frackin curtains.

I've got to answer the homeschooling question soon too. It seems that hubby is willing to be experimental with the preschooler's education. Let's try with him first he says. Then we'll see about the others. so I have to decide which curriculum to go with. I think I may have found what I am looking for, but I would like to learn a little more before making a final decision. I have a couple of friends who are home schooling and I've shot them emails to see what they are doing and what their experiences have been. I've also asked them to outline the pros and cons of homeschooling as they see it. We'll see what comes back.

I'm not sure if I am the person to do the homeschooling thing, but I feel at this point I have to at least try it. I don't know if I am disciplined enough. But maybe I could be. I'd love to give my kids this creative, love of learning experience that opens doors for them. I hope that I can think "outside the box" (God I hate that term...mostly because it has become "a phrase" that people use but don't really mean).

Well, I have more to say, but I'm running out of steam, so I think I'll sign off for now. I have to go make pancakes for my daughter. Hopefully. If I don't hear that friggin early bird.